Well, not officially until Wednesday, but let me say that this fact is certainly at the forefront of my thoughts as the day draws near. Here are some thoughts on the matter.
First let me say that I do not feel like a 50-year-old. Sure, there are days when my joints ache from arthritis and I feel a hundred years old. But inside....where my soul resides....I still feel like a 20-something most of the time. That is, of course, unless I am preoccupied with paying my son's college tuition or making sure the insurance is paid up. Then I feel much more "grown up".
I still love seeing new places and trying new things. Sometimes my mind just flies around from idea to idea on where I want to go or things I want to try. It's difficult to land and concentrate on one single thing with all the thoughts going on in my head. But this makes me feel alive and vibrant. My idea of trying new things or seeing new places may not be another's idea of adventure, but the simple things have always pleased me. I can make an event out of a 20 mile drive for a special meal. I actually get excited at the idea of some of the things I find myself doing. A new recipe can send me into a joyful tizzy! Planning a movie night at home with my family is always a treat to me. Someday I hope to be able to travel more. Again, my idea of where I want to go may not appear adventuresome to others, but there are so many things yet to see that are right outside the small cocoon of my world. I've never travelled outside of the United States and although I would welcome the opportunity, I'll be happy with seeing the places I do get to visit right here in my own country.
Honestly, it is more than a bit scary to think that, statistically at least, my life is about two-thirds over with. Very humbling. I think we can all agree that as we age, we become more mindful of how we spend our time. I surely don't want to dwell on how much time I have left in this world, but I am certainly reminded that the clock is ticking.
Happily, I can say that I have become much more health-conscious within the last couple of years. For the first time in my life I exercise regularly. I have become mindful of what goes into my body and have developed healthier eating and cooking habits. I can proudly say that I might just feel the best I have ever felt. Improving my habits has been a gift. I'd like to spend my later years enjoying life rather than fighting illness and the effects of being overweight. I'm very happy with my decision to make those changes and have vowed to continue these habits.
So I welcome 50 in a couple of days. I may as well welcome it because there is nothing I can do to change it. Hopefully, when others look at me, they can see beyond the gray hairs and the effects of gravity (DO NOT get me started on that!). Maybe they can see that 20-something that resides in my soul and peeks out every now and then.
My grandmother who is 95 told me that she feels about 35. So that doesn't really change. I feel wiser. Not older.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome! I'd like to make it to 95 and feel like that, too. :)
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